Money is one of the top stressors in relationships. According to Fidelity’s 2024 “Couples and Money” study, 45% of couples argue about money somewhat frequently. Yet, the same study found most partners rate their financial communication highly but still harbor hidden frustrations. In short, couples want to talk but only skim the surface.

Research also shows that financial stress leads people to avoid money conversations despite the benefit that these could improve both transparency and financial well-being. The real magic happens when couples sit down, get real and commit to open dialogue. When it comes to building your financial life together, communication is key.

Let’s get started.

Start With Your Money Mindset

Before diving into numbers, talk about your money stories. What was money like growing up? Were you from a saver household or one that emphasized enjoying life? Do you see yourself as a saver, spender or somewhere in between?

This isn’t fluff—identifying financial habits and values helps prevent misunderstandings down the road. As Investopedia notes, talking about money mindsets like risk tolerance, spending versus saving habits and upbringing lays the groundwork for future decisions.

Be Transparent About Debts and Income

Once you’ve shared your mindsets with each other, it’s time to unpack the realities:

• Debts: What types (student loans, vehicle, credit cards) and how much? What interest rates are you juggling?
• Income: What’s the monthly take-home pay? Do you have side hustles or bonuses?
• Assets: Savings, investments and retirement accounts?

This transparency builds trust and allows you to plan realistically.

Talk About Monthly Budgeting

A clear joint budget is a map for financial teamwork. What bills need to be paid? How much goes toward groceries, entertainment and savings? Will you pool everything in a shared account or maintain personal accounts too?

One way to move forward is by starting small. For example, pick one category—like groceries or streaming platforms—and build a budget together. With a low-stress start, your budget can build momentum.

Set Shared Goals: Short- and Long-Term

Money conversations shouldn’t just focus on today—they’re about shaping tomorrow.

You can split your discussions into two categories: Short-term and long-term goals. Short-term goals include things like building an emergency fund, planning an upcoming trip or saving for a new laptop. Long-term goals include buying a home, investing in retirement and funding education for children.

By identifying goals together, you align priorities and clarify what you're both working toward so money becomes a tool, not a wedge.

Address Tensions and Red Flags

It’s okay to acknowledge discomfort as you develop your plans. Financial stress often stems from fear—including the fear of conflict and vulnerability—and demonstrates exactly why these conversations matter.

Behavioral research finds that anticipating negative conflict leads people to avoid financial discussions. When couples recognize conflict as solvable and approach it as a team, openness increases.

If tensions arise, you should pause to acknowledge the emotion and try a no-blame stance. For example, by sharing with your partner that you feel anxious when you both spend a lot of money, you can work together to set a monthly spending cap on “fun” money.

Plan Regular Money Meetings

Setting a monthly “money date” helps avoid issues from building up—consider it a date night but for finances.

Fidelity’s study found that while 90% of couples say they communicate well, 27% are frustrated with their partner’s habits. Regular check-ins give you smaller doses to manage issues rather than a snowballing argument catching you off-guard.

Revisit and Revise as You Grow

People change and so do finances. Whether it's a new job, a major purchase or changing goals, revisiting your financial plan ensures you stay aligned.

Relationship growth from dating to engagement to marriage often brings new dynamics. It is important that your financial plan develops with your relationship.

Final Word

Building a healthy financial connection isn’t a “set it and forget it” scenario. It’s about staying curious, transparent and adaptable as life and income change. Open money conversations help:

• Build trust
• Reduce stress
• Increase teamwork
• Foster financial harmony

And according to studies, yes, couples who talk money truly end up better off, both financially and relationally.

So, grab a cozy spot, maybe a bottle of wine or coffee and launch your first money chat. It might feel awkward at first, but in the end, it’s another way to say, “I’ve got your back, and let’s build our life together.”

To learn more about how Busey Wealth Management can help you start the conversation, visit us at busey.com/wealthmanagement.

This is not intended to provide legal, tax or accounting advice. Any statement contained in this communication concerning U.S. tax matters is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of avoiding penalties imposed on the relevant taxpayer. Clients should obtain their own independent tax advice based on their particular circumstances.

This material is provided for educational purposes only and should not be construed as investment advice or an offer or solicitation to buy or sell securities.

This presentation is for general information purposes only. It does not take into account the particular investment objectives, restrictions, tax and financial situation or other needs of any specific client.